


a lonely soul

by lanvaldear



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-07 22:50:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1916985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanvaldear/pseuds/lanvaldear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a long time coming since I've seen your face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a lonely soul

Sometimes, Axel wonders what it had been like if he'd followed Roxas. It's a constant thought, one that doesn't go away too easily, like an itch on the roof of your mouth. He more often than not entertains the thoughts, and the sharp stab of regret shoots through the empty place in his chest where he knows nothing should be.

Axel thinks he hates that feeling.

Naminé notices, and so Axel avoids her more often than not. He thinks it makes her a little sad, when she sees the emotion flicker across his face. For a girl who spent so long as a prisoner, cut off from everything, she's perceptive. But she stays quiet, and he's thankful for that. She stays quiet, and her pencils scratch along her sketchbook, and Axel peers over her shoulder one day when he has the—hah—heart to be around her.

“Ah,” he breathes, and Naminé tenses. “Hm. Not bad.”

“You weren't supposed to see,” she murmurs, and he shrugs. Naminé opens her mouth, then closes it, too unsure of herself to say anything.

“You'd show me anyway, wouldn't you?” He falls down into a chair and puts his feet up, hands behind his head. “It's got me in there, yeah? I'd have seen it anyway.”

“It's not finished,” she says, and she ducks her head, her motions less sure now. It's quiet, and Axel feels a little fidgety when she says, “I wonder...what it would be like, if I'd had the courage Roxas had...if I'd been able to leave...” She looks up at Axel, her eyes wide. Naminé doesn't realize it, but there's a strong emotion there, and if he'd mention it she wouldn't believe him.

And then when would the next time she'd show such expression?

“Would you really have gone if you'd had the chance?” he asks softly, and Naminé's shoulders drop. She looks down, her hand tightening on the pencil. And she begins to sketch again, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. Axel thinks she's trying to stop her tears from spilling over.

It's quiet for a very long time, and Axel thinks she's forgotten to answer him. He glances about the room—the walls are covered with her art. Axel thinks she's gotten better, just a little bit. They're less childlike, her figures have more features, and she's using more colors. He wonders why—maybe it's because of her almost daily visitor. Axel's been getting bored quicker and quicker these days, and sitting here doing nothing makes him a little anxious. He's about to leave when Naminé speaks up, her voice as unsteady as her shaking hands.

“No...I'd have stayed there.” Naminé's voices trembles and breaks, and her body curls into itself, like she's trying to make herself as small as she can. Axel stands there for a while, and he knows he's overstayed his welcome when the other one comes in and places a firm but gentle hand on Naminé's shoulder. Axel thinks she'll jump, she'll tense, like a frightened animal, but instead she relaxes. Beneath the hood, Riku's glaring at him, and Axel waves before leaving.

The drawing stays on his mind, a constant like the “what-if” of following Roxas. He feels a little angry, but really, he can't blame Naminé. She'd only been doing her job—repairing Sora's memories. Of course she'd peer into Roxas's.

But those days, when they'd eaten sea-salt ice cream on the clock tower together, they'd been special. Naminé had used such warm colors, and, surprisingly, there had been so much emotion pouring from the drawing. Interesting. Memories were influenced by the person who held them—if Naminé peered into Axel's memories, what would they look like on paper; how would they appear to someone on the outside?

Axel lets out a sigh, a noise louder than he'd expected. “Damn it,” he murmurs, and the ache returns, stronger than before.


End file.
